I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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