I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
