I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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