Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
