shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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