Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
