I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
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