My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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