he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I want to fling myself into the sun
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
