i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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