There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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