Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
