Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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