Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
i believe in u and ur pee
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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