just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
