apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
