I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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