Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
