i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
