there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
