I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
