Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
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