; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
