Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
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