I must be too annoying 4 u.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
