she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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