im having a threesome with these popsicles
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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