I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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