ugly people sure do ruin things
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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