She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
