"it" just moved
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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