This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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