I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
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