Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
