So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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