Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
