She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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