The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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