my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
