i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
