i'm signing you up for texting rehab
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
