What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
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