you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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