Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
