you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
