I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
