This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
