Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Less talking, more tequila
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
