so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
