Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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